For my most beloved and highly anticipated of holidays, aka All Hallow’s Eve, I felt the need to begin a new tradition akin to the 12 Days of Christmas and have called it “The 11 Days of Diabolical Doom“. In preparation for the bestest holiday in all the known Universe, I have compiled some of my all-time favorite horror generating images which have cost me at least one good night’s sleep in nail biting anxiety after first viewing.
View them if you dare.
Day 1 – The Exhumed Skeleton of King Richard III
“On the first day of diabolical doom, my dead love gave to me, a murdered King’s skeleton unearthed near Coven-try.”
An archaeological dig began on August 25th, 2012 in a car park in Leicester England a suburb of Coventry, and ended a mere 17 minutes later due to a man’s skeleton being fully unearthed after digging a mere 68 cm. into the ground. This dig was truly remarkable since not only did it unearth the complete skeleton of one of the most maligned men in all of literature, King Richard III, the dig was the first of its kind to be commissioned based strictly on human intuition. The Secretary of the Scotland chapter of the Richard III Society, Philippa Langley, had the strongest hunch that the remains of the wrongly maligned last monarch of the House of York could be found directly under the pavement of a parking garage – and astoundingly that hunch was back with a vengeance with our first picture displaying the murdered King’s skeleton as it was first discovered. (Note the curvature of the spine of the ruler they called “the Hunchback King”.)
Wanna learn more about this unearthly find? Read Brad’s 3 part series “Now is the Winter of History’s Discontent: Richard III’s Revised Remains”
Real life…..it just doesn’t get scarier.
Day 2 – Annabelle, the Possessed Raggedy Anne Doll
“On the 2nd Day of Diabolical Doom, my dead love gave to me, a demonically possessed Raggedy Anne doll-y.”
People, there are scary dollies, and then there’s Annabelle.
I grew up in one of the most haunted areas on the globe, a place I affectionately refer to as “Boo-ville” – the tiny state of Connecticut. And within that tiny state lives one of the most powerful psychics Brad has ever encountered, the great Lorraine Warren. Mrs. Warren was part of a paranormal investigatory team consisting of her former husband Ed who recently passed away and together the Warrens were the original investigators behind such terrors as the Amityville Horror, the Exorcist, and (gulp) the Lindley Street Haunting in Bridgeport. Recent films have been made depicting the Warrens, most notably The Conjuring, The Haunting in Connecticut, The Conjuring II, and lest we not forget, “Annabelle“.
The film was an over-exaggerated piece of Hollywood schlock, BUT the mini-story of the oversized Raggedy Anne doll introduced in “The Conjuring” kept true to the doll’s history. Two nursing students in the early 1970’s treat a large doll like a real person, addressing her as if a 3rd roommate and setting a place for her at dinner. To their delight the doll starts getting a will of its own, such as being positioned at the front door as if waiting for the nursing students when they arrive home at night.
Their delight eventually disintegrates into terror when one of the girls wakes up with claw marks all over her with the doll sitting inexplicably next to her pillow. They attempt ridding themselves of the doll who for some strange reason keeps re-appearing in the apartment.
Silly girls, possessed items can never be thrown away.
The Warrens eventually took Annabelle and placed her in the basement of their home where they store those annoyingly possessed items one simply can’t throw away.
To which Brad encountered the oversized Raggedy Anne Doll as a teenager given the fact he lived a few miles away from the Warren’s home growing up. I emphasize the word “encounter” since Annabelle is placed in a huge glass case with suspended crosses placed over her head both inside and outside the case and certainly cannot be touched.
Unless, of course, she lets herself out on her own (giggle).
Day 3: Baphomet
“On the third day of Diabolical Doom, my dead love gave to me, a statue of Baphomet flanked by adoring kid-dies.”
As if the state of Michigan didn’t have enough problems….
After declaring bankruptcy for an entire city yet before the emergence of bad drinking water, there was Baphomet. In the summer of 2015, the city of Detroit was all abuzz with controversy when a commissioned statue of the goat god of darkness, Baphomet was erected by the local chapter of Detroit’s Church of Satan. The unveiling of the goat horned and headed Satanic statue with its numerous dark symbols including pentagrams and crosses of the upside-down varieties drew hundreds of Satanists from around the country along with some seriously irate Christians, mostly of the hysterically evangelical kind.
Despite the Satanic idol having the demonic pre-requisite of a name beginning with the letter “B”, I came to find out the name “Baphomet” was created by the team yours truly is affiliated with – the Catholic Church.
On Friday the 13th, 1307 (yes the original date associated with bad luck) King Philip IV of France had become fed up with the independent power that weird order of religious militants otherwise known as the Knights Templar were exhibiting and decided to round up, arrest, and torture as many of them as he could find on that dark day. According to confession testimonials, (which we all know how truthful those are when a person is having random body parts being burned or cut off) many of the Knights who returned from raping and pillaging non-Christians during the Crusades had confessed to worshipping a heathen idol named Baphomet which many scholars now believe was the Church’s deviation of “Mahomet”, better known as the prophet Mohammed from the Islamic faith.
To me, what makes this image so terrifying isn’t the goat god nor the statue’s overt Satanic symbology – it’s the adoring kids agog with wonder flanked on both sides of the deity of darkness.
People, I’m all for Freedom of Expression, it’s what makes our country a truly great place but manipulating an image of wide eyed tots gathered round a statue of Satan as if it were just another version of Barney, Pokemon, or the Teletubbies is a big ‘ole karmic no-no in my book.
“We’re about not indoctrinating children.” said the head of Detroit’s Church of Satan right before Baphomet’s unveiling. “For the most part children are forced into religion. That’s something we definitely don’t care to do.”
So I’m guessing the statue’s little tykes made an indoctrinated mistake into thinking the seated half animal hermaphrodite was Santa on a bad hair day?
Excuse me while I grab some smore snacks drizzled in sacrificially beheaded bat’s blood.
Day 4: The Goblin Shark
“On the fourth day of Diabolical Doom, my dead love gave to me, a goblin shark from deep within the sea.”
No, this aquatic cutie didn’t just swim from out of the depths of your worst nightmares, it exists in real life. And appropriately for the season, this visually heart seizing sea creature is aptly named the “Goblin Shark”.
Despite its average length being double the size of a human at 12 feet and its jaws having the ability to protrude out to the very end of its hedge clipper like snout, the goblin shark is of no danger to humans. In fact, this buzz saw of the deep is for the most part a total mystery since it swims along the ocean floor at immense depths and is rarely ever caught. Those Goblins that have mistakenly ended up in fishing nets alive have survived a maximum of a week afterwards.
Described as a “living fossil”, the goblin shark is the only living member of its biological family which happens to go back a mere 125 million years.
If it ain’t broke in the visually terrifying department, don’t fix it, I always say.
Day 5 : A Gasmask Wedding
“On the fifth day of Diabolical Doom, my dead love gave to me, a gas masked wedding ceremon-y.”
Japan isn’t just about well-mannered tea ceremonies and koi fish ponds, you know. Things can get mighty deadly in those parts. Off that country’s Honshu coast lay the Izu Islands. Because the islands formed over an underwater volcano range, the soil is some of the most nutrient rich in the world, their forests are beyond lush,
….and the air is utterly deadly.
The volcanoes surrounding the islands erupt every 20 or so years causing a cloud of volcanic sulfur to be constantly present in the overall atmosphere. This sulfuric fog can range from being a nuisance to lethally life threatening. At its worst in 2000, 42,000 tons of volcanic sulfur dioxide was being spewed into the atmosphere per day. When that occurred residents of the island were forced to evacuate but were eventually allowed to return in 2005, with 3,000 inhabitants living there today.
The only catch is, everyone is required to carry a gas mask on their person at all times.
Today’s picture is a testament to the resourcefulness and resiliency of Man with a smidge of insanity thrown in for deadly measure.
“I now pronounce you Izu man and wife. You may nuzzle your gas mask against the bride’s.”
Day 6: Décor d’Creepy
“On the sixth day of Diabolical Doom, my dead love gave to me, room furniture that’s truly creep-y.”
Friends or relatives having a house warming party?
Make your individual flair (and bizarre sense of strangeness bordering on the insane) stand out with your choice of housewarming gift!
A Scorpion shaped chair perhaps? Well it IS that time of year, you know.
Or how about an entire parlor done completely in decor d’Ouija?! Think of the film premiere party you can have with the upcoming release of the self entitled film!
What was that? Not scary enough?
OK then, You want scary? How about a dining room set by BROYHILL!
Day 7: Illegal Clownery
“On the 7th Day of Diabolical Doom my dead love gave to me, psychotic clowns based in realistic illegalit-y.”
This past August, I facebooked the following:
“Brad Kronen would like to supply some pre-Halloween bedtime fodder…..for your nightmares. And the worst part (or best however you would like to twistedly see it) – it’s actually happening. Parents in Greeneville County in NW South Carolina have had their children coming to them as of late stating there are “clowns in the woods” who have been trying to convince kiddies to go with them by offering them money “to buy candy” despite their having chains and knives on their person. Since August 21st, testimonials from numerous kids have been made where multiple clowns have been seen from a heavily wooded area “whispering and making strange noises”. Police have been notified of these clowns and have been stipulating to the public that no child is allowed outside at night especially near any wooded areas. To reinforce this rule, the only known photo to date of these child luring knife wielding clowns is being posted along any area bordering near forest or woodlands.”
In the 8 or so weeks since posting my clown blurb, the fear of funny people (who usually are “funny” but not in a Ha-ha way) has swarmed down upon not just the United States but Canada and the United Kingdom as well.
Yes folks, harlequin hysteria has covered itself upon Western culture thicker than the biggest balls of blue and pink cotton candy combined.
Not only have clown costumes been banned this year at nearly every Halloween parade throughout greater North America, two of the biggest leaders of the Free World, Presidents Obama and Trudeau have each given speeches urging their respective citizens to not only go clown-less this All Hallows Eve but to even abstain from donning big round red noses unto themselves!
The Bozo brouhaha has gotten so extreme that throughout Kemper County in the state of Mississippi dressing like a clown has actually been made illegal between now and November 1st. Those attempting to wear any kind of aerodynamic hair pieces of Woody Woodpecker red or bloodless white face paint will be slapped with a $150 fine, no questions asked nor honk horns blown.
Thank God I found concealed hiding places for both Mister McDonald and Emmett Kelly right before all this anti-jesterism took serious hold.
You can’t even tickle their whereabouts out of me.
Day 8: The Prophetic Premonition of a President
“On the 8th day of Diabolical Doom, my dead lover gave to me, a slain President’s psychicly prophetic capabilit-y.”
Unless you’ve been living out of a coffin, everyone should be well aware 2016 is a Presidential election year. And this particular Presidential year will go down in the history books for its antics, lies, mudslinging, and gossip mongering. With that said, amidst the current political pettiness, now is a good time to look back at a former President who not only did his job and then some but by all accounts was supposedly quite intuitively gifted as well.
For 3 straight days before his assassination, President Abraham Lincoln had a recurring dream. In it he would be woken by “pitiful sobbing” followed by him descending the White House stairs and walking into the East Room. To quote the President:
“Before me was a corpse wrapped in funeral vestments. Around it were stationed soldiers who were acting as guards; and there was a throng of people, gazing mournfully upon the corpse, whose face was covered, others weeping pitifully. ‘Who is dead in the White House?’ I demanded of one of the soldiers, ‘The President,’ was his answer; ‘he was killed by an assassin.'”
Lincoln told his bodyguard William Cook the contents of the dream, and confided to him his reservation of having to attend a play at Ford’s Theater. On the evening of April 15th, 1865 instead of saying his usual “Good Night, Cook.” as Lincoln did each night whenever taking leave of his presence, the President paused in front of his bodyguard, looked directly into his eyes and said “Good-bye, Cook.” as he sadly smiled while taking his leave of the White House to see a play that fated night.
It would behoove both Presidential candidates to brush up on the actions, thoughts, and integrity of the man they called “Honest Abe“.
Happy Election Day in advance, Everybody!
Day 9: A History of Evil
“On the 9th Day of Diabolical Doom, my dead love gave to me, a trove of lies claiming to be histor-y.”
“To the victor go the spoils.” – Donald Trump (and maybe some other dude named Orange Julius or Ceasar Salad or something)
The quote listed above was originally said over 2,000 years ago by some old guy no one cares about named Julius Ceasar. In spite of that fact, due to a certain modern day celebrity referencing those very same words at a recent rally for his campaign for President, many are now attributing the quote to a Mr. Donald Trump.
To Trump’s credit, Caesar’s words were said from a similar reference point as when the great Roman emperor first uttered them in 62 BC. By stating the quote before a massive gathering of crowds, both men were clarifying their undisputed authority as rulers who although were technically “human”, were internally divine and therefore could do whatever they liked, whenever they saw fit.
However, where Caesar used those words to justify his conquering of Gaul as an attempt to alleviate Rome’s ever-surmounting debts, Mr. Trump utilized the quote as a way of describing his foreign policy should he become leader of the Free World, which according to the divine one will soon enough be an indisputable fact unto itself. For according to “the Donald”, when he ascends the White House throne the United States shall impose a small military force in Iraq for the sheer purpose of taking every bit of oil from their reserves as the “spoils” of war.
Ummmm ok. Sounds Crusades-ish enough to me, sure why not?
To repeat a quote of my very own mentioned during Day 1 : “Real Life, it just doesn’t get scarier.”
But the question we need to ask is Life real or is it what we’re being told to assume as such?
Which brings us to today’s image.
I’ll start by stating although the concept of Slavery is being presented in a semi-humorous light, I am in no way attempting to downplay or ignore one of the darkest pages of this country’s history. In fact, when seen from an unresolved perspective the topics of both race and race relations in the United States are just as crucially important today as they were during the Civil Rights period of the 1960’s.
People, of the 11 images of terror I have chosen for this series, this one in particular makes me fetal while silently screaming the hardest– BY FAR. Wanna know why?
The image is taken from an honest and for true high school textbook used to teach students who resided in the state of Alabama the subject of American History throughout the 1970’s.
Not only is the content from this educational text book thoroughly and completely false, it actually tries to convince the reader in a non-overt way that slavery wasn’t such a bad thing and slaves should have been thankful for being as such, since the ones who really suffered from this imposed institution were white plantation owners by virtue of them having to provide so much for so many.
According to this collection of printed evil, slavery certainly wasn’t about people lounging and eating bon-bons all day but slaves were lucky enough to have, as the book describes, “suffered little or no want”.
What makes this so incomprehensible is that the book was handed out to students as an educational learning tool that was considered to be non-subjective, accepted as fact, and thus, never to be questioned.
And the best part? This book of evil and lies was dispersed and taught to young minds in the very same area where the atrocities it attempted to sugar coat actually took place.
With that in mind, I feel it necessary to re-write some historical text of my own where I would like to add the following to a famous quote you might already be familiar with:
“To the victor go the spoils…historical and otherwise.”
Day 10: Diabolical Dollies
“On the 10th Day of Diabolical Doom, my dead love gave to me, evil in the form of many doll-ies ”
Clowns and possessed dollies, it just doesn’t get more diabolical than that. Am I right, folks?
Welcome to my nightmare! Come on in, there’s plenty of room.
Day 11 – Ecco il Mondo
The Archangel Michael Slaying Satan by Josse Lieferinxe, 1506
“On the 11th and final day of Diabolical Doom, my dead love gave to me, Michael the Archangel to kick Satan’s ass and protect humanit-y.”
After seeing the 11th and final image of this series, many of you might be thinking “The finale is a pic of a girly boy shoving his boot down the throat of an overgrown chicken man? Big freakin’ deal.”
But my dear readers, it IS a big deal.
Halloween is my favorite holiday on many levels and for many reasons. Spiritually, it’s the one holiday where we living beings give reverence to the force known as Death and to those who have died. Sociologically, it’s a holiday where one night per year a person is allowed to be whomever or whatever they want to be.
All Hallows Eve is also a most unique time when the veil is thinnest between our world and other planes of existence, be that Heaven, Hell, or elsewhere.
Unfortunately the forces of darkness aren’t limited to just one night per year.
For Day 7, I posted a picture of a man holding a balloon of the world surrounded by laughingly fanged clowns. The picture is from the opera “Mefistofele” by Arrigo Boito. It shows Satan informing his minions that the world of Man is completely under his power. The Prince of Darkness mocks humanity by announcing to his demonic goon squad how helpless and susceptible we humans are to his influence but are too caught up in our own self importance to remotely be aware of his presence. The Devil bounces the Earth like an over-inflated balloon between his hands as he proclaims “Ecco il mondo!” “Here is the world!” to which he proceeds to pop with a pin much to everyone’s maniacally screaming delight.
No matter your religious affiliation or whether or not you consider yourself spiritual, there is a constant battle in our world between the forces of Light and Darkness.
Evil exists. It does so in countless shades of varying intensity but make no mistake, the Darkness is a living force of influence and has the potential to take down humanity and our world as we know it. Many scoff at the concepts of Light and Darkness even being applied to 21st century society but how else would one explain such things as Neo-Nazi memberships and ritualistic Satanic murders steadily being on the rise these days?
Halloween may make light of the battle between the Forces of Light and Darkness but we all must be aware of its presence. A mentor of mine once told me the following:
“Always remember, Darkness hates the Light and wherever there is Light, there can never be Darkness.”
May each of us keep that concept close to our hearts all the year round. For if we don’t, diabolical doom could indeed very well unfold to become an actual state of reality.
Walk in the Light and have a most Happy Halloween, Everyone.
*Brad Kronen’s book “Love in the Stars” published by Llewellyn Worldwide, Inc. is available for purchase at your local book seller or online at amazon.com at the link listed below.